Where are the party favors?

You are invited to Sherry's pity party ...

Oh wait - if it's my pity party, then I suppose it might get a tad bit crowded if I invite guests, huh?

Never mind, then. But, you're certainly welcome to stay if you'd like.

I'm having one of "those" kind of days. I can't say the right thing; I can't do the right thing; and I can't even feel the right thing. I'm just a jumbled mess of emotions.

I'm becoming convinced that I really am broken, and there are invisible Band-Aids strategically placed everywhere on and in my body, keeping me from breaking apart entirely and collapsing into a massive heap of despair.

I hate days like this. It's as if there's this invisible person sitting next to me, menacingly poking at me constantly and irritating the shit out of me. I wish I could snap my fingers and everything would be instantly better. If only it were that easy to fix everything that's broken ...

Life has been so much harder and so much more disappointing in the 11 months since losing Ryan. I'm having a very difficult time finding even a sliver of joy in anything lately. Between my dad's health, our fertility issues, both mine and Mike's jobs, and Ryan's birthday lurking around the corner, I just can't help but feel very let down by everything.

The more time that lapses since the last time I held my beloved baby, the more I feel that hope is slipping through my fingers. I try as hard as I can to hold on to it, but all my frenzied grasps are in vain.

I want to be optimistic - I really do - but it takes more energy and effort than I can put forth at the moment. Most of my drive has been used up by all the upsets and disappointments that have come my way; the well is almost dry and there is no reserve.

This gloomy feeling will probably pass or improve, but right now, it feels pretty darn permanent and lonely.

Please excuse me while I go drown my sorrows in some cake.