Deep breathing has commenced

This past week was rough, no doubt. Having to lose our kitty, Wendy, so close to Gummy's arrival rattled both mine and Mike's cages a bit. We had been going about our business so seamlessly, so last week's bump in the road jolted us more than expected.

But, we're doing okay. There's still that absence of Wendy in our little family, and the other furbabies sense that something is off, too. We're doing our best, though, to focus on the good rather than dwell on the bad by keeping ourselves occupied with last-minute Gummy-related projects.

This morning Mike installed the car seat. I double-checked that my hospital bag is truly ready to go, and it is. Yesterday we cleaned our bedroom and bathroom to the point that I almost didn't recognize either room by the time we were done. Other than actually having this little baby, I don't know what else we can do to prepare ourselves.

But, along with all the joyful preparations, the feelings of fear and anxiety have slowly crept back into both our minds. Again, we're trying not to focus on the bad, but we both feel that we need to be aware of it. I mean, it's not like we can pretend we don't know how our last journey down this path ended. And, as much as we hope and pray that this outcome will be the complete opposite, we just don't know for certain that it will - till we walk out of the hospital with our little bundle in tow.

My last OB appointment was Friday and couldn't have been better. My OB is almost as excited as we are, but he completely understands our trepidation and respects why we feel the way we do. He told me once again how much he admires how Mike and I haven't given up our pursuit to have our little family and how our love for one another is quite apparent. Sure, he might've just been saying that to make me feel better, but it was nice to hear nonetheless, since it's the strength from our bond that has made it possible to pursue our dream.

On Friday night we went out for what will hopefully be our last childless date. We went to a local Mexican restaurant and had a wonderful, relaxing dinner, complete with an indulgent "tres leches" dessert. I was barely able to waddle my round body out of the restaurant afterward, but it was oh-so worth every bite.

I'll receive my final instructions by Tuesday, but for now, we're prepared to arrive at the hospital by 5:30 am for our 7:30 C-section. My OB explained the procedure again, in case I had forgotten any of the steps, and I'm still comfortable with the process. As long as Gummy arrives safely, I'll do what I have to do to achieve that desired ending. So, barring any emergency C-sections that bump us from the OR, we're the first on the schedule for the day.

Now, back to my deep breathing ...