Ryan was here ...



My not-so-sweet nothings, mostly comprised of my feelings at losing my two-day-old son, Ryan David, to congenital heart defects, and to celebrate the arrival of Ryan's healthy little sister, Megan Elizabeth, and hopefully welcome another little miracle into our brood in July 2010.


Saturday, May 03, 2008

26 Days remaining

We're down to less than a month before our little miracle arrives - a mere 26 days.

We've been busy working on the nursery and taking care of all the little odds 'n' ends that pop into your mind to do before your life forever changes.

The nursery is almost complete. A friend is putting the finishing touches on the curtains she made and we're awaiting the arrival of puffy-lettered artwork which spells out Gummy's name. It was really weird to watch the room's transformation from a clearly boy's room to a girly-girl room. If I hadn't seen the progression with my own eyes, I wouldn't have thought it possible.

At my latest OB appointment on Thursday, once again everything was great. My OB decided that at 36 weeks (this Wednesday), he'd like to start weekly non-stress tests. He's not suggesting them because he's alarmed about anything, but, rather, he wants to keep our level of confidence up till the 29th, as he knows how anxious both Mike and I have been. I love that man and how he doesn't take any of my concerns or worries for granted.

Last Monday I took a breastfeeding class to better prepare myself for the unknown. The instructor was one of the labor and delivery nurses from the maternity center where I delivered Ryan and where we'll be delivering Gummy. She didn't immediately recognize me, but once I reintroduced myself, she remembered me from the morning I was discharged because I was ready to take on the world just 18 hours after my C-section, when many women aren't ready to get out of bed, much less walk around on their own. It was a little disarming at first to once again see someone from "that time," but once it had time to sink in, I felt encouraged by seeing her again and at the end of the night, she gave us both a big hug and wished us the best.

Mike has totally embraced the idea of having a little girl to adore and pamper. He's found (and bought) all sorts of cute outfits and already, this little one has him wrapped around her little finger. I have a strong feeling that she'll quickly become his #1 girl and I'll be ousted to second place. But, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I did have a moment of panic a few weeks ago, because our digital camera completely crapped out on us. It was the equivalent of a computer's blue screen of death. But, thanks to my husband's resourceful online searching, he found that the camera's manufacturer is aware of this problem and will make the repair at no cost to us. The part about all of this that had me most concerned was the turnaround time in getting the camera back to us. The original estimation for repair was three weeks, putting us at May 17, which, honestly, was a little too close for my comfort. But, the manufacturer, hopefully due to Mike's urgent phone plea, will have the camera back in our hands by Tuesday at the latest. Phew ... crisis averted. Now is not the time for a new camera crash course! So, once the camera is back in my anxious little hands, you can bet there will be plenty of photos to share.

My dad has been on my mind a lot lately. It all started last weekend while watching one of those "top 100 one-hit wonder" music shows and one of my dad's favorite songs - Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum - was among the countdown. It had never been a song I particularly cared for and was before my time, but it was one that my dad grew especially fond of in the last few weeks of his life. So now whenever I hear it, my thoughts immediately go to him and how I wish he were here to share in our joy. He was by far one of our biggest and most supportive cheerleaders and constantly reminded me that we could not and should not let Ryan's death defeat us in our attempts to have a family. "Do not let this defeat you," was a phrase I heard many times over and I would give almost anything to hear him utter it just one more time. No worries, dad. For once I listened to your advice.

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2 Comments:

  • At May 04, 2008 3:23 PM, Blogger Rosepetal said…

    Thinking of you for the remaining 26 days.

     
  • At May 06, 2008 2:26 PM, Blogger Margaret said…

    I'm so glad the camera people will get yours back to you soon!

    As to your dad, he'll be there with you, and Mike and Gummy. Someone who was that supportive just can't walk away, kwim?

    Sending you huge hugs!

     

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