Ryan was here ...



My not-so-sweet nothings, mostly comprised of my feelings at losing my two-day-old son, Ryan David, to congenital heart defects, and to celebrate the arrival of Ryan's healthy little sister, Megan Elizabeth, and hopefully welcome another little miracle into our brood in July 2010.


Monday, March 17, 2008

An almost 29-week update

I had another routine OB appointment this morning, as well as my glucose screening, and I'm happy to report that all is still well. I'll know the results of my glucose test in a few days and hopefully I'll pass with flying colors.

Gummy is actually measuring a little ahead at just over 30 weeks, but it's no cause for concern. Although, it could account for the almost two-pound weight gain I experienced in the two weeks since my last appointment. Oops. But, again, everything else is normal, so I'm not going to fret over little discrepancies like that.

My OB today confirmed that Gummy's birth day will be May 29, at the earliest surgery time he can get.

Wow.

This is all coming into much sharper focus. In just over ten weeks, I'll be meeting my little girl. Our little miracle.

I've been wrestling with some feelings of unrest concerning having a scheduled C-section. There is that dreamy part of me that longs to have a vaginal delivery. But, the practical side of me doesn't see the point in tempting fate and knows that a C-section is a very wise choice - especially since my labor didn't progress last time and attempting a VBAC is risky in itself.

I discussed this with my OB this morning, and he agreed that a C-section is the smartest way to proceed with Gummy's delivery. I have a different set of risks and concerns than many women, and he strongly feels that the best scenario is to have a C-section with its controlled environment. Attempting a VBAC could turn emergent at any time and he just does not want me to have that kind of worry.

I felt better after discussing this with my OB. I guess I needed that validation that this was the most sensible decision considering our history and I wasn't a wuss for conceding to that logic. Getting our baby here in the safest way possible is more important than any longing I may have. After all, her safe arrival is a successful delivery in my book, regardless of the manner in which it happens.

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I went to the fabric store on Saturday with a co-worker of Mike's who will be making some items for the nursery. It was a lot of fun selecting fabrics, but scary too. The trip reaffirmed that we're truly invested in and believe that we'll bring a baby home this time. I can't try to deny it any longer. I've opened up my heart, making myself vulnerable once again. It took a while to happen, but it's wide open and there's no turning back. Please don't let it get crushed again.

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Mike and I have been slowly painting sections in our house - tomorrow will be five years that we've been here and the majority is still painted in builder white. Even though we thought we'd take the low road regarding painting the nursery, we realized that my ever-growing belly isn't getting any smaller and is becoming a bigger obstacle. So, we may end up repainting the nursery sooner rather than later so I'm not leaving tummy prints on the freshly painted walls. (Okay, I admit that I did do this once - just once - over the weekend.)

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This upcoming weekend we have our 3/D ultrasound. We're both very excited about seeing Gummy again and can't wait to see how much she's changed since our last scan. Plus, our big ultrasound wasn't as "fun" as it is for most couples, with so much looming over us regarding her heart, so we're looking forward to a more relaxed appointment. I wonder if she'll have my chubby cheeks - either or both chubby sets.

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And, some gratuitious belly shots:

For comparison, at 25 weeks:


And, at 28 weeks, looking rather weary:


As much as I've been enjoying this ride, I'll be glad to step off.

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7 Comments:

  • At March 18, 2008 7:50 AM, Blogger Ann Howell said…

    You look wonderful! All aglow :) I can imagine how scary it all must be, though. It's encouraging to hear that you've jumped in with both emotional feet now. In a blink of an eye, you'll be holding her in your arms... So get painting, lol! (Says the woman who has lived in her house for almost 10 years, and still has one bedroom with bubble-gum pink walls...)

     
  • At March 18, 2008 8:08 AM, Blogger Lori (mediamom) said…

    You look fantastic! May the next 10 weeks go quickly and with as little worry as possible. I would say none but i know better ;-)

     
  • At March 18, 2008 8:37 AM, Blogger Lori said…

    You look fantastic!!

     
  • At March 18, 2008 3:10 PM, Blogger Scrappy_Lady said…

    You do look great.

    So cute that you got a belly print in the paint on the wall. Ooops! ;)

    Ten more weeks and counting.

     
  • At March 19, 2008 7:47 AM, Blogger Rosepetal said…

    You look happy in those photos!

    "Getting our baby here in the safest way possible is more important than any longing I may have. After all, her safe arrival is a successful delivery in my book, regardless of the manner in which it happens."

    I could not agree more. I'm glad you have a set date now and really wish for everything to go smoothly until then (well and after then too...)

     
  • At March 19, 2008 12:44 PM, Blogger kate said…

    You look great! 10 weeks...so close! Thinking of you...

     
  • At March 19, 2008 2:10 PM, Blogger Ruby said…

    Gorgeous pictures!

     

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