Ryan was here ...



My not-so-sweet nothings, mostly comprised of my feelings at losing my two-day-old son, Ryan David, to congenital heart defects, and to celebrate the arrival of Ryan's healthy little sister, Megan Elizabeth, and hopefully welcome another little miracle into our brood in July 2010.


Saturday, April 15, 2006

Yay - another holiday

In just a few hours, the Easter Bunny will make his hippity-hoppity rounds, delivering baskets filled with the sweetest of treats.

Yay.

No, I'm not the least bit enthused that Easter is here. It's just another day to remind me - as if I need any more reminders - that my baby is dead and that we're a different kind of broken family.

I think my newest approach to the holidays, with this "whatever" sort of attitude, is so I don't have to bear to think about what I would and should be doing instead of moping and crying. If I treat this Sunday as I would any other Sunday, maybe I can manage to limp through it with a bit of my emotional being intact.

At least I'll be able to tear into the bag of Cherry Cordial Hershey Kisses that have been residing in the back of my freezer for the past month.

Note to self: Don't ever again succumb to others' urges to "give something up for Lent." All you managed to do was torture yourself for weeks on end, and your ass is still as wide as it was before making this unproductive commitment.

1 Comments:

  • At April 16, 2006 2:22 PM, Blogger kate said…

    Heh. I have a friend who is eastern orthodox and they have to go vegan for lent. She used to do this and lose weight, but last year she didn't even lose an ounce. So this year, she didn't bother! She still has a big ass but she seems much happier...

    I, on the other hand, have started a yearly tradition of giving up alcohol for lent. I am thinking this will prevent me from spending the whole month of March completely pickled to the gills (as Nicolas was born in March and i do have these tendancies). So, for me it is a good thing.

    I've got my candle lit, you and sweet Ryan are in my thoughts. Enjoy the chocolate-covered cherries, i lift my glass of (fortified) wine to you!

     

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