My Beloved Ryan,

Today is eight months since we said goodbye.

I can only imagine what a big boy you'd be by now and what new tricks you'd be learning on an almost daily basis. I think about things like that all the time and hope that my dreams and imagination are close to what a different reality might have been.

Spring has finally arrived, and I constantly envision the fun times that would've been had during our outdoor adventures. I'm certain that our walks would've been interrupted with passers-by commenting on your gorgeous blonde hair and big blue eyes. By now, you probably would've had a tooth or two to flash a smile to them in exchange for the kind compliment. And, I'm sure you would've been wearing one of the many goofy hats that daddy so lovingly picked out for you, to protect your little head from the sun.

Toby would've been such a good baby protector - I just know he would've been. I can almost hear your gleeful and excited shrieks as Toby gives you sloppy puppy kisses while you pull out a chunk of his long white fur.

And, at the end of our busy, fun-filled day, daddy and I would get you ready for bed and lull you to sleep with a bedtime story or a gentle lullaby - or both.

Those are just a few of the wonderful things that would've been part of our life together - the three of us as a family.

My dear angel, mommy and daddy love you more than we could ever describe - there are no words fitting enough to fully express the depth of our love for you. You are forever in our hearts and missed even more with each passing day.

I love you, Peanut - now and forever.