Turning the page
At work, I have one of those three-months-at-a-time wall calendars. It was quite handy when I was pregnant since there seemed to be millions of appointments to keep track of and it was nice to see those final weeks counting down to the big day when I'd get to finally meet my little boy.
When I returned to work at the beginning of October, my calendar was just as I had left it before my maternity leave, showing August, September, and October. I couldn't bring myself to flip the page when I first returned to work, and I even went so far as adding Ryan's birth date and death date in the appropriate boxes in August. Even though seeing those dates makes me incredibly sad, I felt they needed to be added to reflect other events in my life that were worthy of jotting down. And, since there was still a current month available for my use, I really didn't see the need to go to the next page, containing October, November and December. Seemed to make perfect sense to me at the time. Or maybe I talked myself into thinking my decision was rational - who knows?
But, now it's November.
Everytime I looked at that calendar today, I realized that the months I was looking at were finished and it wouldn't help me too much in November.
I'm very particular, maybe even obsessive, when it comes to dates and times. I make certain that every clock in my house has been changed at least 12 hours before the official time change in the spring and fall. All of my clocks and watches - whether at home, in the car, or at work - are set to the same time. And, I always change my calendars on the first of the month.
So, not changing my calendar at work was really bugging me, but I just couldn't flip the page to cover August. In some strange way, it would have been as if I was covering up Ryan. I could never do that!
Finally, in the last half hour of my work day I came up with a solution, even though it all but killed me to follow through with it. I tore the sheet from my calendar that contained August, September, and October, cut out the month of August, and tacked it up in my cube. Unfortunately, a perfectly good calendar was sacrificed in the process, but, in my opinion, the end justifies the means: August isn't covered up and forgotten.
Now, where can I find another 2005 calendar, even though I need it for just two months?
I didn't really think that part out too well, did I?
When I returned to work at the beginning of October, my calendar was just as I had left it before my maternity leave, showing August, September, and October. I couldn't bring myself to flip the page when I first returned to work, and I even went so far as adding Ryan's birth date and death date in the appropriate boxes in August. Even though seeing those dates makes me incredibly sad, I felt they needed to be added to reflect other events in my life that were worthy of jotting down. And, since there was still a current month available for my use, I really didn't see the need to go to the next page, containing October, November and December. Seemed to make perfect sense to me at the time. Or maybe I talked myself into thinking my decision was rational - who knows?
But, now it's November.
Everytime I looked at that calendar today, I realized that the months I was looking at were finished and it wouldn't help me too much in November.
I'm very particular, maybe even obsessive, when it comes to dates and times. I make certain that every clock in my house has been changed at least 12 hours before the official time change in the spring and fall. All of my clocks and watches - whether at home, in the car, or at work - are set to the same time. And, I always change my calendars on the first of the month.
So, not changing my calendar at work was really bugging me, but I just couldn't flip the page to cover August. In some strange way, it would have been as if I was covering up Ryan. I could never do that!
Finally, in the last half hour of my work day I came up with a solution, even though it all but killed me to follow through with it. I tore the sheet from my calendar that contained August, September, and October, cut out the month of August, and tacked it up in my cube. Unfortunately, a perfectly good calendar was sacrificed in the process, but, in my opinion, the end justifies the means: August isn't covered up and forgotten.
Now, where can I find another 2005 calendar, even though I need it for just two months?
I didn't really think that part out too well, did I?
posted by Sherry @ 11/01/2005 08:45:00 PM
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