Ryan was here ...



My not-so-sweet nothings, mostly comprised of my feelings at losing my two-day-old son, Ryan David, to congenital heart defects, and to celebrate the arrival of Ryan's healthy little sister, Megan Elizabeth, and hopefully welcome another little miracle into our brood in July 2010.


Friday, September 15, 2006

A few words from the "editor"

This is specifically directed to the coward who left an ugly comment in response to my last entry. If you're not that person, please don't take what I'm saying to heart. However, if you are indeed that troll, please read carefully.

I have absolutely no respect for people who choose to remain anonymous when leaving comments in other's blogs - especially comments as vituperative as the one made regarding my feelings about Britney's latest addition and the circumstances surrounding her fame.

My blog is my place to write about whatever I choose, whether others agree with my views or not. If someone doesn't like it, then they don't need to read it. Period.

And I quote:

the only way to get what we ant out of life is to stop pretending that we're better or more deserving than anyone else. God frowns upon people that speak ill of other people, and do you really think Ryan is smiling down on you from heaven right now while you're complaining that someone else is having babies?? people chose to live their lives the way they want to and its not you or anyone else's job to judge them. Maybe when youre less judgmental god will see fit to bless you with another child, but until then.. Its just lessons being learned. I feel for you but seriously.. was that necessary???


You bet your ass it was necessary! And I don't for a moment regret a single word from that entry - or any other, for that matter.

Of all that I have lost in my 37 years, my emotions are something that can't ever be taken away. They're mine and I make no apologies for how I feel since they come straight from my heart. And, unless you have spent even just one minute in my shoes and have experienced the enormous amount of grief and hardship that I have, you have absolutely no right to hide behind your religion in order to criticize me.

Shame on you. Shame on YOU for pretending to be enlightened enough to be in a position to judge me or anyone else faced with tragic life situations.

Can you feel your God frowning upon you? You should, because He most certainly is.

posted by Sherry @ 9/15/2006 05:10:00 PM  

22 Comments:

  • At September 15, 2006 5:50 PM, Blogger msfitzita said…

    Amen sister!!!! And a million (((((HUGS))))

     

  • At September 15, 2006 5:53 PM, Blogger delphi said…

    You have my 100% backing and support, Sherry. Everything that you have said here is true - it is your space and your emotions that we are privileged enough to share here.

    And, P.S., I cannot believe that losing a child is some sort of lesson from God that we need to be nicer to people??? I can't believe in a God who is as trivial as that.

     

  • At September 15, 2006 6:19 PM, Blogger MB said…

    Someone pulled that shit with me when I made my last commentary about her. Fuck 'that person'. It is what promted me to quit allowing anonymous comments.

    your blog. Your feelings. Your choice.

    Chicken shit people.

     

  • At September 15, 2006 7:00 PM, Blogger kate said…

    You go girl! You have *my* support 100%!!

     

  • At September 15, 2006 8:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Its not like knowing my name will help anything, you dont know me at all. I was just trying to poiint out that you are simply bitter that someone else can have something that you want with out even trying, and thats ridiculous. Its all about attitude. It doesnt matter if its her or anyone else, i'm sure youre one on the TTC board, crying about how your friend or sister etc. got pregnant when you've been trying SOOOO long, ya know? If you could just STOP focusing on the things you want that you "cant" have, and also stop being hateful to someone for having a child when your time just hasnt come around again, then it will never happen because you're in the wrong mindframe. I'm not judging you, because thats not my job, I am not juding you as a PERSON because I dont know you as a person. what I am going on is based soley on the words you type. The attitude that you project. The incredible negativity. Its sad, and theres a cure, but it is definitely not being on the attack.

     

  • At September 15, 2006 9:39 PM, Blogger msfitzita said…

    Britney the troll should grab a dictionary and look up "judging/judgment" because she clearly has no idea what it means if she thinks she's not guilty of doing it.

    Seriously, go peddle your sanctimonious crap elsewhere. Until you know what it's like to lose your baby when he's three days old, you have no idea what the torrent of terrible thoughts and gut-wrenching emotions are like in in the weeks, months and years that follow.

    We're in hell. Each an every one of us.

    We're not trying to be negative because we think it's fun, we're trying to survive in a world that no longer makes sense because half our hearts were torn from us the day our babies died. Our reactions to everything, both good and bad, are different than they were before and we hurt all the time from the inside out.

    Until you know what that's like, never ever judge one of us again.

    Shame on you.

     

  • At September 16, 2006 1:00 AM, Blogger Lori said…

    Sherry,

    I'm behind you 100%. (((hugs))) She needs to go get her jollies elsewhere. Maybe Britney's fan site??

     

  • At September 16, 2006 1:25 AM, Blogger Kori said…

    OMG Sher, I swear if I ever found out who that damn trolling COWARD PANSY ASS FUCKER is I would kick their ass...no wait, I'd kick Britney in front of her and THEN I'd kick HER ass. (Well, I will assume it's a woman).

    I absolutely agree with everything you said...and if that person, excuse me, YELLOW BELLIED FREAK, believed what he/she said with that much conviction they would have been proud to sign their name to it and not hide behind the anonymity.

    What a cruel disgusting person that even DARED assume they had an iota of a clue of what they were talking about.

    Ryan IS smiling down on you because you are his mommy.

    Speaking of judgmental, if the coward ever comes back and reads this, I invite that person to bend over and grab their ankles because I will have to try to see if this anal probe will fit next to the LARGE ASS stick that's already up there.

     

  • At September 16, 2006 1:27 AM, Blogger delphi said…

    Chick, you don't know when to leave well enough alone.

    Come back when you have lived through the death of your only child and then faced the hell that is secondary infertility. Oh, and when you have developed a sense of empathy.

     

  • At September 16, 2006 1:31 AM, Blogger Kori said…

    Oh I must add this since I didn't see that she returned and left another comment. Stop fucking commenting on this blog if you don't like what she has to say and how DARE you point your ugly barbs and pretend to know who Sher is.

    It must be incredibly nice to live life with blinders on and pretend that everything is wonderful just so wonderful things happen to you. Oh wait, isn't that a little self serving too? If you have never had a bad day or heartwrenching thing happen to you that changed any outlook you have on life then you are either:
    A) a fucking liar
    B) a fucking liar
    C) a fucking liar

    Take your pick.

     

  • At September 16, 2006 8:40 AM, Blogger JPAKAJR said…

    Sherry,

    What a coward! Sending a swift kick to them. You pick the location!

     

  • At September 16, 2006 12:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     

  • At September 16, 2006 12:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     

  • At September 16, 2006 1:52 PM, Blogger L said…

    Sherry,
    I don't know you but, man, do I feel for you. You have been through hell and back and you have a right to blog about whatever you want to.
    I have to admit, I was a little concerned when I read your Britney blog but I wanted to give you a hug, not kick you while you were down. And really, you have the right to feel any way you want to feel. It's great that you are able to get it off your chest. IT"S HEALTHY!
    That troll needs a good swift kick in the rear and I see there are many of us who are willing to do it. I am glad you have such a strong support system.
    Ryan will always be smiling down at you no matter how you feel about Britney Spears. Our kids don't care about that kind of crap. You just hang in there sister and know that there are a lot of us out there rooting for you.

     

  • At September 16, 2006 5:18 PM, Blogger Denise said…

    They must have other issues going on to write that kind of crap! Totally uncalled for and mean spirited. (((((((hugs)))))))

     

  • At September 16, 2006 6:24 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Well said Sherry, well said.

    Maybe Britney the troll should take the best advice on how to handle the opinions of others- find a new website. No one forces someone to read a blog or an internet board. If you don't like what someone has to say, then go find someone else to talk to. Why is this so difficult for people to do?

     

  • At September 16, 2006 6:35 PM, Blogger Erin said…

    I have no clue who that person is either, but why are they even bothering? Does S/he get some morbid kick out of upsetting someone who has been through enough? If they do then that is warped. Everyone has the right to their feelings and no one has any right to tell any of us to get over it.

    (((((HUGS)))))

     

  • At September 16, 2006 9:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "what I am going on is based soley on the words you type"

    O.K So Bitch Troll all I have to say you to your bullshit comment left here is if your basing your thoughts on the words Sherry types why are you even reading her blog?? Who the fuck invited you into her world her thoughts???I mean she is a mother grieveingfor crying out loud and you think you are someone high and mighty who should tell someone to get over it fuck you....going through the loss a child I too would be pissed off at the world for taking something so dear away from me.....I doubt you could be a Mother because another Mother would never say such hurtful and rude things to another Mother....get a life and stop bothering people who didnt invite you into there world!!!! Why dont you waste your time critiquing your own life and how much of a heartless bitch you are...Thank you

     

  • At September 16, 2006 11:46 PM, Blogger Woman who knits said…

    Love the comment on Brit! You have EVERY right on your blog and in your heart to feel that way!!

    Cathy

     

  • At September 17, 2006 7:25 AM, Blogger lissa said…

    sherry sweetie just sending some love and hugs

    and while i'm at it a brick in the directon of a troll

     

  • At September 17, 2006 8:44 AM, Blogger Anam Cara said…

    Wow, I am so angry at that "Britney" troll that my head is spinning and my blood is boiling.

    TO YOU COLD-HEARTED TROLL:

    If God is "frowning" upon anyone it is YOU, with your judgmental, cruel, uncaring horrible comments. Have you no empathy at all??

    This is Sherry's place for getting her "negative" feelings and thoughts out, because God knows it is much better for one's mental health to do that than suppress them and "pretend", for the sake of people like you, that all is just fine. THIS IS A NORMAL PART OF THE GRIEVING PROCESS. How lucky for you that you don't understand. It is obvious you've never had to watch your baby son die and then have the added punch in the stomach of secondary infertility. After all Sherry has been through it is NORMAL to feel angry and bitter. FEELINGS CAN'T BE "WRONG" - ONLY ACTIONS CAN BE WRONG. And Sherry is not hurting anyone IRL. She is just expressing her feelings as part of the healing process.

    And you say it is all about "attitude"? Just "changing" her "attitude" will make her life, thoughts and feelings "normal" again?? HOW UTTERLY SIMPLISTIC AND NAIVE YOU ARE. You can change your "attitude" relatively quickly about how you view lots of things in life - like housework or traffic or not getting that promotion you wanted, etc... But it doesn't quite work that way WHEN YOUR BABY SON HAS DIED.

    If Sherry is in the "wrong mindframe" it is because she has been through one of the cruelest, most heartbreaking, soul and mind destroying experiences. SHE NEEDS TIME AND LOTS OF SUPPORT TO WORK THOUGH THIS, NOT SOMEONE TELLING HER ALL SHE NEEDS TO DO IS "CHANGE" HER ATTITUDE.

    So please, please, please JUST GO AWAY and stop making this harder on her. If you think you are "helping" with you assvice, YOU ARE NOT. IF you really "cared" even one iota, you would stop telling her what she should and should not be feeling because you are doing more damage than your simple little mind could ever imagine.

    Rant over.

    To Sherry: I am just so sorry you were subjected to this load of rubbish. Lots of (((hugs))) to you.

     

  • At September 17, 2006 1:12 PM, Blogger delphi said…

    Why is this conversation continuing? I think the point is that Sherry has her feelings, they are valid and truthful and brave, they are hers in her space, and I think it is highly inappropriate for anyone to tell her that her feelings are wrong or misdirected or inappropriate. EMOTIONS ARE NOT RIGHT OR WRONG, THEY JUST ARE. And the healthiest thing that anyone can do is express them - and a blog is the perfect forum for that. Please stop telling Sherry how to feel.

    Anam - you took the words right out of my mind.

    Sherry - love to you!!!

     

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