Enough

Please. No more comments.

This is not what I intended or expected from my ranting entry from a few days ago. I was having a horribly emotional day and decided to vent about what was bothering me. I obviously struck an unintentional nerve or two, but I don't think a public lynching is going to solve anything - regardless of which side of the argument you're defending.

I realize that many of you who read blogs regularly feel that you get a true sense of the writer from the words they share. And, while that is true in many ways, a certain amount of mystery remains. I'd hate to be defined solely by what I choose to share here, when there is far more to me and my life than what is contained within these entries. There are many things I don't share here for a variety reasons, whether they be too personal or private a matter or just trivial ramblings, but those situations still affect me and my moods. And, whether the readers of this blog are privy to those other circumstances or not shouldn't matter.

My grief over losing Ryan and my sadness at dealing with unknown fertility are two big issues that go hand in hand. They are there every day, all day. The strong emotions that these situations bring to the surface are very powerful and aren't easily shaken off. Add to that recipe my father's unexpected death, as well as other pressing private issues I don't discuss here, and I think I'm entitled to have a really bad day once in a while.

I never said that grief was pretty. It's not. It's a horrible, horrible feeling and everyone handles it differently. Most days, I juggle the emotions pretty well, keeping all of them in the air simultaneously, all with a big smile on my face. Some days, however, I lose my coordination and those balls come crashing down at once. Those are the days that are as bad as it gets when you're grieving heavily.

Again, I can't apologize about how I feel. It is what it is.

Long story short, I've had enough of the hostility and don't want it to continue here. My bad day was several days ago and is over and done, so I won't allow a stranger to get us all riled up instead of just letting it go.

Bygones.