13 Days into our new life

I'm constantly busy. I'm sleep deprived. I'm stumbling my way through lots of new things. I feel disorganized. I whisper and tip-toe more. And, I've been peed on.

But, I wouldn't have it any other way. This is what I've been waiting for and working so hard to achieve, in hopes of mending my wounded heart and to finally have the family we've tried so hard to grow. She seems to be the key piece that was missing from my life. Now I completely understand about unconditional love - "the kind of love that makes you cry." (I heard that expression during an episode of "Scott Baio Is 46 and Pregnant" and it became etched in my memory.) I shed lots of happy tears when I look at her angelic little face and can't believe she finally made her way into our life.

I'm so in love with this little person. It's indescribable. I look at her and can't believe that I helped to create her. I can't believe she's the precocious little babe who wedged her butt into my ribs and gave my ovaries some mighty powerful soccer kicks while in utero. It's odd, yet heart-warming, to look at her precious little face and see myself through her expressions and features. And when I look into her blue eyes, I see not only her, but am reminded of her big brother, Ryan, who had the same beautiful eyes. So, even though he's not here, in a way he is, since part of him lives on through Megan.

To sum it up, everything makes more sense now. I never dreamed that I could or would possibly change so much just by bringing home a baby, but I have. I still have a badly fractured heart, but along with that hurt is this wonderful, new feeling that planted itself when Megan safely arrived 13 days ago. It's like a gigantic Band-Aid across my heart.

Yes, I'm completely smitten with Megan. It's all so amazing.

And, to spare you any further mushiness, here are some pictures from Megan's first few days.

Freshly cleaned ... and still quite unhappy.


First family picture.


Proud papa.


Snoozing ... what babies do best.