Pick me, pick me!

I keep thinking that my quest for another pregnancy is like being the annoying kid back in grade school - the one who's bouncing out of their seat, making the "ooo-ooo" sound, pleading with the teacher to pick them to answer each and every question the teacher throws out to the class.

Okay. I've had my hand in the air for my turn now for quite a while - it's getting pretty damn tired and it's going numb - but it seems the "teacher" is looking beyond me or through me or not in my direction. Maybe I'm not even on the seating chart?

Six pregnancy announcements have popped up in the last week, and only one of them was from someone - myself included - who's been hoping and praying and hoping and praying some more for some good news. I need to hear that good news from someone whose life has been struck with the kind of grief and sadness that has stricken my dear husband and myself.

I'm not saying that these are unwanted pregnancies - just unexpected announcements for me to hear - but it makes it much harder to believe that I'll get another turn. Or maybe I'm not even in line for another try.

A dear friend of mine, who lost her sweet little boy nearly a year ago, has been trying to become pregnant again, but somehow, month after month, her prayers go unanswered and her pleas are overlooked.

This just doesn't make any sense to me!

I'm really beginning to wonder why some of us aren't good enough to be chosen for this gift. Is there some extra credit question somewhere that I'm not aware of? Am I waiting in the wrong line? What gives?!?

I really wish someone could tell me.