Stopping to smell the rose
These days, with the hurried pace of society keeping me in high gear almost non-stop, I seldom take the time to stop and appreciate the world around me. Yesterday was different, though, whatever the reason for my moment of reflection. ...
Although it's almost six weeks since Ryan's death, I have been slow to remove the baby items from some of the rooms in my house. It's been a source of comfort to see these things, a gentle reminder that I was ready to embark on the trip of a lifetime. But now, sometimes these items make me sad, so I decided maybe it was time to gather up these things and move them to his nursery for safe keeping. Hopefully there will be future use for these odds and ends.
As I opened the door to Ryan's room, I immediately noticed the wonderful baby-like aroma his room still held. After I had put some of the baby items away, I walked around his nursery, running my hand over his crib bedding and winding up his musical lullaby lamb. I smiled as I looked at a goofy musical puppet Mike and I had bought for Ryan, and I wondered how he would have giggled at this silly little toy. I held up one of his sleepers and tried to imagine how he would have looked wearing it, with his favorite stuffed animal tucked under his arm. As I squeaked one of the toys in his bath basket, I felt compelled to smell the baby wash I had intended to use on him. With one sniff, I immediately recognized that fresh scent of my baby and travelled back to six weeks prior.
I clearly remember how sweet Ryan smelled and how velvety soft his skin was. His long blonde hair tickled my nose when I kissed his angelic head. My heart warmed at one glance from his beautiful, big blue eyes. He truly was an unexpected delight to my senses - just like a perfect rose.
I stayed in his room for nearly 20 minutes, savoring every reminder and memory of my dear little angel. I had a million other things I could've been doing at that moment, but what else could be more important than to appreciate the beauty and uniqueness of the rose I grew and nurtured for nine months?
Although it's almost six weeks since Ryan's death, I have been slow to remove the baby items from some of the rooms in my house. It's been a source of comfort to see these things, a gentle reminder that I was ready to embark on the trip of a lifetime. But now, sometimes these items make me sad, so I decided maybe it was time to gather up these things and move them to his nursery for safe keeping. Hopefully there will be future use for these odds and ends.
As I opened the door to Ryan's room, I immediately noticed the wonderful baby-like aroma his room still held. After I had put some of the baby items away, I walked around his nursery, running my hand over his crib bedding and winding up his musical lullaby lamb. I smiled as I looked at a goofy musical puppet Mike and I had bought for Ryan, and I wondered how he would have giggled at this silly little toy. I held up one of his sleepers and tried to imagine how he would have looked wearing it, with his favorite stuffed animal tucked under his arm. As I squeaked one of the toys in his bath basket, I felt compelled to smell the baby wash I had intended to use on him. With one sniff, I immediately recognized that fresh scent of my baby and travelled back to six weeks prior.
I clearly remember how sweet Ryan smelled and how velvety soft his skin was. His long blonde hair tickled my nose when I kissed his angelic head. My heart warmed at one glance from his beautiful, big blue eyes. He truly was an unexpected delight to my senses - just like a perfect rose.
I stayed in his room for nearly 20 minutes, savoring every reminder and memory of my dear little angel. I had a million other things I could've been doing at that moment, but what else could be more important than to appreciate the beauty and uniqueness of the rose I grew and nurtured for nine months?
posted by Sherry @ 9/20/2005 07:34:00 AM
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