Another door opens ...

I had always kept diaries and journals over the years, but I never imagined I'd be using an electronic version - ever. Admittedly, it is nice being able to change my words at will by hitting the "delete" key instead of looking back over my written work, only to discover an omission or a better way to construct my sentence. No more strike-throughs or White-Out necessary.

I probably wouldn't have been open to an online journal before now, but a gal I "know" writes with such ease and openness in her Blogs that I felt inspired to give it a whirl. I just wish my current subject matter was of a happier kind.

I'm mourning the death of my newborn son, Ryan David. He was called back to Heaven on August 11, just two days after his joyous arrival. I'm still having a hard time accepting that my pregnancy ended in such a tragic way, but with each passing day, it's the teeniest bit easier to look at the positive instead of the negative. Plus, I don't think Ryan would like me dwelling on the bad - there was so much pure goodness and beauty about him!

This really isn't how I wanted my inaugural entry to read, but this is my reality at the moment, as unpleasant as it may be. Hopefully my grief and sadness will lessen with time - LOTS of time - so there will be more upbeat entries to come. Just be patient ...