Ryan was here ...



My not-so-sweet nothings, mostly comprised of my feelings at losing my two-day-old son, Ryan David, to congenital heart defects, and to celebrate the arrival of Ryan's healthy little sister, Megan Elizabeth, and hopefully welcome another little miracle into our brood in July 2010.


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

A different shade of grieving

Many of us moms-in-mourning have become accustomed to reading others' blogs and the losses of their little ones. But, today, I'm grieving in a slightly different way.

Most people don't realize or understand how online acquaintances can develop into life-long friendships. Heck, the internet is how Mike and I were brought together, when the chances of our meeting in person were next to none, with us living 1,200 miles apart.

But, despite those physical distances, the online communities are a wonderful way to bring people closer together in circumstances where it was previously very difficult or next to impossible.

I had the wonderful opportunity to befriend such a person a few years ago, just after losing Ryan. I "met" this woman on one of the pregnancy boards we both frequented, but it was only after the loss of Ryan that I really had a chance to get to know her, as she reached out to comfort me in my darkest hour.

This woman, Christy, made charitable contributions in Ryan's memory for both his first and second birthdays. She and her adorable daughter donated books to their local library in Ryan's name, and, for Ryan's first birthday, she sent me the most lovingly constructed scrapbook that included every minute detail I had ever shared here in my blog and on the pregnancy boards. She also lit a candle on Ryan's birthday; yet another way she honored my little angel, even though she only knew us through the words read on a computer screen.

Christy and her husband just celebrated the birth of their second child, a son, a few weeks ago. So, I never imagined that life couldn't get better for such a sweet, caring person with such a big heart.

Unfortunately, though, I learned that Christy passed away very unexpectedly yesterday. And, again, I sit here and wonder why and how life can be so cruel as to take a young mother away from her two babies and her loving husband. I will never understand how there can be a "master plan" for something as horrible as this. It just doesn't add up.

Christy was a truly wonderful woman and will be missed by many. Please, send prayers of comfort to her family as they try to make sense of this tragedy.

And, thank you, Christy, for all you've done for me and my little Ryan. I'll never forget your kindness and friendship.

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7 Comments:

  • At November 27, 2007 10:21 PM, Blogger Samantha said…

    oh my gosh, that is so terrible. I am so sorry you (and the world) have lost such a special person.

    They don't have a reason for her passing? This is just heartbreaking.

     
  • At November 28, 2007 7:10 AM, Blogger niobe said…

    How heartbreaking. It's just impossible to understand why these things happen.

     
  • At November 28, 2007 11:35 AM, Blogger The McFamily said…

    Terrible. I will keep her and you in my thoughts.

     
  • At November 28, 2007 3:40 PM, Blogger Rosepetal said…

    I'm so sorry Sherry. What cruelty.

     
  • At November 28, 2007 4:50 PM, Blogger eilysmama2 said…

    Sherry,

    I cannot begin to thank you for you beautiful words honoring the memory of Christy. She was such a wonderful wife and mother. We miss her so much.

    Christy was a women who gave of herself without even thinking about it. All she knew was that people needed her help and she was there to help. She wasn't afraid of their grief, instead she embraced the bereaved and helped guide them through it. I encourage everyone to follow her example.

    Again, I thank you all for the kind words and for honoring Christy's memory.

    Regards,

    Brent (Christy's DH)

     
  • At November 30, 2007 10:29 PM, Blogger Ruby said…

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    She sounds like an incredible person.

     
  • At December 06, 2007 12:10 PM, Blogger MoonNStarMommy said…

    I stumbled across your blog, and this entry touched me... I am so sorry for your loss of Ryan, I was faced with the reality of that while I was pregnant (told that he wouldn't survive the pregnancy) but now that child is five and I received a miracle I can hold forever.

    I just wanted to say, you have to know, that your friend is holding Ryan right now, and taking care of him, until it is your time to join them...

    Many Many Many Hugs...

     

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