I took my job and shoved it

I ain't working there no more.

On Friday, I decided that three years was enough of being treated like a whipping boy, so I walked out on my job at the end of the workday.

The unfortunate thing about it is that my boss wasn't in the office Friday afternoon, so my news was shared with his wife, who was completely blind-sided by my words. I did feel a pang of guilt, as the boss' wife has always been very sweet to me (both personally and professionally) and was in no way responsible for my discontent over my job. And, although I did what some may view as a career no-no, I felt I had no choice and had to put myself and my health first, since no one else was going to do that for me.

I've written about my job in the past, but I had tried to curb my job-bashing in recent months in hopes that if I didn't dwell on only the negative my job might do an about-face and actually improve. No such luck.

That was clearly wishful thinking on my part and nothing more, since my boss' behavior had grown worse and even more intolerable over the last two years. The list of his character flaws is sad and long, and rather than picking them apart one by one, let's just suffice to say that my departure was due to irreconcilable differences.

I do feel the need, though, to clarify that my leaving abruptly is completely out of character for me, as my career is one area in my life where my strong ethics have never wavered. But sometimes we need to compromise our belief system in order to do the ultimate right thing; in this case, the right thing was putting myself, my dignity, my family, and my health first. My boss was doing none of those things for me (and never, ever would have) so I felt it was time for me to take control and get out from under that dark cloud.

A lot of bad things happened while I was at this job, and it always amazed me how unsupportive my boss and my immediate co-worker were regarding my unfortunate circumstances. My miscarriage in 2004 was an inconvenience to them both, so one can only imagine how Ryan's death and my absence immediately following was received. When I shared the news of my dad's unexpected passing last summer, the response was less than sympathetic, while their inconvenience at another one of my absences was made abundantly clear. Considering I spend nearly one-third of my life at my job, I think it's most important that I enjoy - and not merely endure - that precious time.

So, as I write this entry, I'm actually able to enjoy my morning coffee and appreciate the rising sun, rather than preparing myself for a difficult day dealing with impossible people who revel in others' misery.

I do have a plan in the works, but it's not quite ready for its unveiling. It's a venture that I have considered for a good, long while and maybe the discontent of my job was the motivation I needed to put my plan in motion.

This is a huge step out of my comfort zone, but I have the full support of my wonderful husband to lean on during this transition. I'm ever-so-grateful of his faith in me, which at times has been far stronger than my own belief in myself and my abilities. With that kind of support, I know I'll be okay, no matter what the future brings.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to shuffle downstairs - in my slippers - for a refill of java that I won't need to hide from a cranky boss.